Date: 20/02/14 - 11:22 pm Title: Who is that Girl?
Would like to see more. Learn to separate paragraphs--the wall of text made this difficult to read. Lemme just quickly tell you how to properly separate them.
When beginning a new topic, a new paragraph is created. When a new person is speaking, a new paragraph is created. Otherwise, you create new paragraphs after four sentences (weak paragraph) or six sentences (strong paragraph).
Not too sure about the last part--I learned it in eighth grade.
Other than the wall of text, it was pretty good. Just enough teasing with it, please. I want to see some foal rape.
Please continue this and maybe also follow my advice.
I had a little trouble setting it up right on my computer; but don't worry, I plan to fix it soon. Hope you're enjoying it so far.
Date: 16/02/14 - 12:49 am Title: Who is that Girl?
Ok, I would have read this, except that you seem to have no concept of paragraphs. This went from being a story to being a wall of text. You should correct that.
Sorry, I do plan to fix that. I was having a little problem setting it up right with my computer and I decided to leave it and fix it later. Hope you still enjoy it regardless.