Date: 11/05/17 - 09:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
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Date: 02/06/13 - 10:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
Nice job. Clever use of the characters, too. I had a harder time making a Trixie clopfic. (Actually, I had to make the second chapter for my little brother, since today is his birthday. That was his present.) It was really entertaining, and hit all the tight spots that I couldn't fill. I should get writing lessons from you sometime, or maybe a collaboration!
Date: 29/01/13 - 07:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow, i can't begin to explain how good this was. your attention to detail was spot on. you stuck to the characters personality to a tee. nothing is more pure or innocent than young love. i wish i could shake your hand and buy you a bottle of champagne as congrats for a well written and necessary story. keep on man.
Date: 10/01/13 - 12:19 am Title: Chapter 1
Well, I've seen this story on the random before and decided to finally give it a chance, and while I don't normally like humanize ponies, your stories seem to be changing that, so congratulations are awarded there. Anyway, I really like this story, I mean it was great, as is common with your writings. I mean, to put it simply, you made it seem real, you made this story come to life in my mind, which I very much appreciate, because I get very tired of the stories that just are about the sex, so thank you for that again. I like the pairing of Snails and Twist, I really do, I wonder why there isn't more of it. If I had to say one thing for constructive critisism's same, it would be that it seemed, at least to me, that you mixed up the names of Snips and Snails a few times, but I probably would have done it myself, so that doesn't really count. Anyway, again great story, with all kinds of detail that made it come alive, I'll look forward to reading your fiction in the future.
Date: 31/08/11 - 04:28 am Title: Chapter 1
I don't like humanized ponies.
And whenever I try to imagine Snips as a human, It's a really really short really really fat kid with pony Snips' face. Creepy as fuck, dude. Anyway, the story couldn't get my attention and was really uninteresting in general, but I also agree with everything A Nonymous said, except Snips Snails and Twist aren't background characters at all. They are secondary characters.
Sooo... Pffffftsix outa ten.
Date: 16/08/11 - 10:11 am Title: Chapter 1
Now, this is a great story, and I love it, I really do.
It just doesn't click as a MLP story. It's not that the story uses background characters- Given the way it's set, it could have used a younger Applejack, and still have this effect. I know the characters enough to think of them with a given personality, but it's like the story is a miscellaneous story, without any series, seemingly standalone in it's nature. This does not detract from the story, however- Indeed, I think if you pushed the MLP aspect harder, it would seem to be trying too hard to fit it. Either way, it seems very well done. Interestingly, the main storyteller in this case seems to retain total innocence, something many authors cannot do, or at least seem not to. It even goes to add that they spent the rest of their day together, simply playing together, at their ages. It really highlights the ages of the characters, in that such a thing can happen, and yet they go on, even to become freinds. I must admit, I'd love to see a follow up story for this, though i know that is highly unlikely.
With much respect,