Date: 24/06/12 - 03:28 am Title: Keeping it Alcoholic
Haha, dude, as your first fic, this was great!!! I for one love the background ponies and really like seeing them get some attention from somepony, especially Lyra!( I mean what's. Of to love about her?). Anyway now for some constructive criticism..... Honestly I have nothing wrong here, like I said, I found the whole thing amazingly hilarious and not too sex detailed( every now and the somepony goes WAY overboard with the descriptions of it all) really the only thing I was upset about is the fact that I was having such a good time reading this and went to hit the next chapter button for more, only to find out there wasn't any extra hiding behind a link....... But all in all a great start, I'll definitely keep an eye out for your stuff in the future, just next time, make me more to read, haha!
Thank you so much! Your critique means the world to me. I'm working on the second one right now! :)
And of course, everyone loves Lyra. Don't worry, her apperance wasn't a one time thing!