Date: 21/07/12 - 03:05 am Title: Chapter 1: The Choices
Um....... I don't want to sound mean since I have yet to write my own fanfictions but....... I have to admit, I have absolutely no idea what the Buck is going on here, it's like I just read 7 different stories........ There is only one thing thing tying all of these together, it's the fact of the girlfriends aspect, but it gets so easily lost among all your other show references and indecipherable plot line(if there is one, I just don't know if there is supposed to be).....
Maybe next time you write, take a step back and read it after its done, to see if it flows clearly, then read it outloud, then have someone else read it for themselves....... Its better to spend a lot of time editing it all in the comfort of yourself and your friends before you toss a story you worked hard on out to a judgemental public that will tear you apart for it.......
Oh and by the way Golumitu, don't take what these people say too harshly, even here, where everypony is supposed to love and tolerate, people can be major jerks, don't take their opinions too seriously, this is your first time, don't let their stupid comments overwhelm you, or Celestia forbid, make you stop writing, I for one think you have a great imagination, your ideas just seem kinda scatterbrained and thrown about willy-nilly, kinda like mine, haha, but Im sure that with a little editing and practice, your stories could soar above these people's expectations
Trust me Golumitu, inside everyone there is a novel, or so the saying goes, I know you will get better soon, just dont be afraid to ask for help..... Hell, I'll gladly help you, if it means anything, all you need do is ask, I'll definitely favorite you so I can see your future stuff, looking forward to anything new you put out man(or girl, if that's the case) and Im on here often, leave a review here and I'll find it, or if this site lets you contact me directly that's cool, I still haven't explored it all yet haha.... anyway though, keep calm and Brony on on!!!!
Date: 20/07/12 - 03:38 am Title: Chapter 1: The Choices
Although I don't hold any grudge against you nor am I annoyed is any way, I do have to say I kind of agree with the others on this one.
1) Your tags are WAY overselling the story. That needs to be fixed asap.
2) Practice writing on your own and compare it to other people's writing. If it doesn't flow and feels choppy and disorganized, smooth ou your technique until you have something to work with.
3) Always be sure to know the base guidelines when posting a story on ANY fan-fic site. Although reading rules isn't the most enjoyable thing in the world, it'll help you understand what you're getting into.
I'm not saying this to make you feel inferior in any way. I'm saying this to help you and inform you of what actions you should take. You have no reason to defend yourself either, as I'm not attacking you in any way.
Remember, practice is key. If you can't find anything wrong with your stories, give them to a friend who will give you an honest oppinion and help you out. Later.