wrong chapter. i meant chapter 6.

Um....... I don't want to sound mean since I have yet to write my own fanfictions but....... I have to admit, I have absolutely no idea what the Buck is going on here, it's like I just read 7 different stories........ There is only one thing thing tying all of these together, it's the fact of the girlfriends aspect, but it gets so easily lost among all your other show references and indecipherable plot line(if there is one, I just don't know if there is supposed to be).....

Maybe next time you write, take a step back and read it after its done, to see if it flows clearly, then read it outloud, then have someone else read it for themselves....... Its better to spend a lot of time editing it all in the comfort of yourself and your friends before you toss a story you worked hard on out to a judgemental public that will tear you apart for it.......

Oh and by the way Golumitu, don't take what these people say too harshly, even here, where everypony is supposed to love and tolerate, people can be major jerks, don't take their opinions too seriously, this is your first time, don't let their stupid comments overwhelm you, or Celestia forbid, make you stop writing, I for one think you have a great imagination, your ideas just seem kinda scatterbrained and thrown about willy-nilly, kinda like mine, haha, but Im sure that with a little editing and practice, your stories could soar above these people's expectations

Trust me Golumitu, inside everyone there is a novel, or so the saying goes, I know you will get better soon, just dont be afraid to ask for help..... Hell, I'll gladly help you, if it means anything, all you need do is ask, I'll definitely favorite you so I can see your future stuff, looking forward to anything new you put out man(or girl, if that's the case) and Im on here often, leave a review here and I'll find it, or if this site lets you contact me directly that's cool, I still haven't explored it all yet haha.... anyway though, keep calm and Brony on on!!!!

ok the end was sort of funny but the plot sucks ass

4/10

epic_hooves you are fucking funnyXD

i did not read it but by looking at the comments... i don't think i need to but i will just to see my side of the comments

lets just all agree to let me wait before i finnaly get e pub. people are always annoying me to get off before i have a chance.